


Televangelism

by supernaturalandshiz



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bible, Dissociation, Drug Use, Light Angst, Post Revelations, Reflection, Religious Conflict, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29082900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalandshiz/pseuds/supernaturalandshiz
Summary: Spencer was a federal agent. They saw too much horror everyday for him to believe in a virtuous and righteous god, yet he craved something that he could fall back on when times were rough. Maybe that is how he ended up here; lying alone in the dark, eerie room.Or, Spencer reflects.
Kudos: 7





	Televangelism

**Author's Note:**

> No one ever said that this is easy.

_“Recent polls in Las Vegas show that only 36.8% of the population identify with a religion.”_

The televangelism program droned on in the silent hotel room while Spencer stared blankly at the ceiling, lost in thought. The statistics certainly made sense; after all, the nickname ‘Sin City’ had to come from somewhere. Growing up, he hadn’t known many people who were of faith. Of course, there would be occasional religious zealots, attempting to harass sex workers or casino goers, but that happened everywhere. 

Despite his lack of belief, he had read the bible from front to back multiple times. First from a literal standpoint and again from a figurative one. He knew that Gideon believed that the scripture was almost entirely allegorical, while, on the contrary, most practicing Christians prefered the first. 

_“God_ let _this shooting happen. Not because he’s cruel but because he is sending us a message. He is saying that the world is broken, and evil is_ real _and it’s_ infiltrating _our homes.”_

Not for the first time, Spencer thought of what Gideon had said, ‘He's perverting god to justify murder.’ 

**Exodus 20:7**

**Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.**

From a metaphorical stance, the verse meant just that. Too often they caught wind of murders that were ‘god’s will’ and hatred explained away by the book. 

He wondered, then, what the interpretation of **Exodus 21:17** would be.

**And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.**

If he asked Garcia, she might say that the passage wouldn’t apply to him. Coo that he had done what was best for his mother even when all he could think about was her pleas. 

_“The lord said ‘be not afraid, children.’_ He _will keep us safe and_ continue _to punish the sinners.”_

Spencer had never understood the hypocrisy behind that. Wasn’t forgiveness the message?

**John 3:17**

**For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.**

Didn’t he deserve saving, too? 

That night, on the cabin floor, he had prayed to a God he didn’t believe in. Hoping that Hotch would understand; begging that his team would swoop in and save him. As he dug his own grave, and looked desperately to the stars, he could have wept at the emptiness that glared back. (If he had a telescope, he would have seen Saturn, but no ‘all powerful being’.)

Spencer is a federal agent. They saw too much horror everyday for him to believe in a virtuous and righteous god, yet he craved something that he could fall back on when times were rough. 

Maybe that is how he ended up here; lying alone in the dark, eerie room.

**1 Corinthians 10:13**

**But when you are tempted, He [God] will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.**

He was high out of his mind, eyes glazed over and body lax. He drifted in and out of memories, watching scenes play out. It was good though, he didn’t have to deal with them, despite reliving it. 

“You’re _weak_ ,” Charles’ voice growled at him. Protesting vehemently, at least his head wasn’t pounding this time, “I’m not weak.”

Now, after reading hundreds of books on religious belief and practice; after going years without questioning his atheism, he found himself thinking. 

**Psalm 34:17**

**The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.**

He had devoted his life to a cause of saving people. No matter how many gruesome crime scenes they walked into, there would always be more killers and more victims. Hotch had stopped asking for his report of the case in the weeks after; moved his concern full force into the next problem, and it was the first time Reid had thought of himself as a victim. Distantly, he remembered a quote from something his mother had read to him. 

“As I lie in wait for the next bomb to go off, I ask of you one thing. Only save me if I deserve it.” If he was sober, he probably could have remembered the name, but something struck a chord in him. 

Was he worthy of salvation? To be ‘delivered from his troubles’? Or, did he deserve to be punished? Damned to suffer eternally?

_“Now, brothers and sisters, the book of Revelation-”_

**Revelation 18:23**

**The light of a lamp will never shine in you again. The voice of bridegroom and bride will never be heard in you again. Your merchants were the world’s important people. By your magic spell all the nations were led astray**.

The shine of the broadcast flickered across his face as the sun went down. His muffled head cleared and mind was finally whirring at a peaceful pace. Slipping into a peaceful sleep, his lips pulled up in a smile hearing his colleagues laughing in the next room over. Copies of The Hebrew Bible: A Translation with Commentary and A Translation of Revelation tucked safely into his messenger bag promised more thought tomorrow, so he let himself rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Why is it so easy to project onto Reid?


End file.
